Stress

Stress (noun): 1. Strain felt by somebody ~ mental, emotional, or physical strain caused, for example, by anxiety or overwork. It may cause such symptoms as raised blood pressure or depression.
Encarta Dictionary: English (North America)



That pretty much sums it up ~ the closer we get to administering the TAKS test, the more stressed we get.

Here are some examples:

All administrators of the test have to be ‘trained’ on testing protocols. The main point, which is heavily emphasized, is that we are to be actively monitoring during the test. In other words, you can’t be sitting at your desk reading the newspaper, grading papers or surfing the ‘net. You have to get off your duff and WALK around and SEE that everything is under control. No problem ~ that is doable. Well, it seems that a certain testing guru from central office has said that we CANNOT sit at all during testing time. Only one exception has been made for an expectant teacher who needs to get off her feet ‘cuz they tend to swell which is natural. A couple of teachers at our campus got into quite a heated discussion regarding this with our campus testing coordinator. Their point is that they can actively monitor if they are seated and emphatically told the coordinator that they were going to sit regardless. If it had been me, I would have kept my BIG mouth shut and not revealed my plans! As sure as the sun shines yellow, you can bet that those two rooms will be visited quite a bit during the test administration. Sounds like stress to me…


Stress ~ it is causing major disruptions in my sleep. I woke up @3:00 am today because in my dream I couldn’t decide what I was going to wear while administering the test. Methinks I have lost it. After tossing and turning for an hour, ‘ah, the heck with this, I’m getting up.’ This has turned into an almost daily occurrence. Sleep deprivation does not contribute to a hospitable mood. My persona can be identified as the wicked witch from “The Wizard of Oz.” Depression has always been a part of my life; and I have managed to keep it under the radar. I worry that I am not reviewing the students well/don’t know my content, they are going to do poorly, I am going to be axed. If I could get a relaxing night of sleep I might just break this vicious cycle. As I write this I have just discovered my problem ~ I am helping a fellow colleague so that his results benefit not hinder our campus status. Is he worried? No, I don’t think so. Teacher X got the easiest part of this review package in my humble opinion as he doesn’t have to prepare for two different grades like my partner and me. He resents my presence but he is subtle about it. Comments like, “I could be in my room teaching instead of wasting three weeks here in the library” indicate to me that I am an intruder. I am not asking for sainthood or medals of honor, just a simple ‘thank you’ would go a long way.

Only three more days to go and I truly hope that these students do well. Their confidence levels seem to have risen and I would like to think that I played a small part.

~butterfly angel~(with halo askew & broken wings)

Ps. I just discovered that this is post #100!