Over 50 years ago a child decided that when she grew up she wanted to be a teacher. She enjoyed going to school, discovering and learning about the world around her. Her parents were educators and she took her cues from them. It took many years for her to get to her goal ~ life gets in the way of dreams! Success came at age 40 and thus began her career of teaching.
Fast forward to 2010: teaching is no longer a dream; it is a nightmare where the dream is drowned by excessive paperwork, meaningless testing, NCLB, AYP and the sword of Damocles hanging over her head. What can she do to revive the dream?? She has been told by others that she is an effective teacher but she herself doesn't believe it.
Any advice, blogger friends???
Fading fast,
~ba
8 comments:
Oooooooooooooooowwwweeee, do I feel your pain! We are in the beginning stages of yet another acronym: RTI...Response to Intervention (not to be confused with a UTI, although they have similar side-effects). I really wish the idjuts in Austin had to spend 6 weeks in our shoes. (6 weeks = a complete cycle of lesson plans/grades/paperwork/strange moon cycles, administrative whims, etc.)
Just six weeks and I bet they'd realize that there's a helluva lot of redundancy and idiocy that they could eliminate with the stroke of a pen.
So, the short answer? I don't have a damn clue how we find the motivation to put up with the bullpuckey. All I can figure is that we have Nocturnal Amnesia. Each afternoon, we decide that we can't take anymore...we're leaving..we're NEVER coming back. And then the next morning, we wake up and think "Oh, it couldn't have been that bad. Maybe today will be better." So we go. And then we get there and the children start whining and the admins start snarling and then we're like, "Oh helllll. NOW I remember why I wasn't going to come back here. I was bamboozled!!"
In the meantime, all I can do is focus on the few (hopefully more than a few, but hey I'll take what I can get) students who seem to really thrive in my classroom.
And that gives me a wee bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be better.
I just realized that I have dominated your comment space...I hope it's okay that I just moved my arse in to camp out on your couch! Anywhooo, I think I'm gonna use this as a post on my blog...maybe some other folks can weigh in.
RTI = Return to Idiocy!! What a waste of time....
Don't worry about hogging the couch, it is a tad warmer here that in your neck of the woods!
Thanks for stopping by... ~ba
BA--Thanks for being so real on your blog. It seems we're in the same boat, in a way. I'm a special ed. teacher and just got up to 25 kids on my caseload and I want to walk away. Like you, I dreamed of a being a teacher the whole time I was a kid, and am now in my 11th year of teaching. Today I am overwhelmed, and have even started counting down the days until Summer Break.
That being said, I have done some deep soul searching in the past couple weeks, wanting something. And, what I have come to is the fact that my students are each a jewel, and I can't imagine my life without them. What is best for those kids is that I'm in there, giving 110% everyday so that they can grow up and be productive citizens one day. I have one student that will graduate this year from my first year of teaching. As I ponder that, and I know that I played a big role in him succeeding, I know that my current students deserve that as well. And that is what gets me up everyday.
I hope this helps you!
Shortone
I'm having similar thoughts. My seventh-grade special ed boys are driving me to the point of not wanting to teach anymore--at least not seventh-grade special ed boys!
I'm in the process of trying to look down the road five years (something I've never been very good at)to see what else I might do in 2015. (Maybe elementary school?)
I'm sorry, that wasn't very helpful to you, was it?
I wish I could be of some help. I'm only in my 3rd year of teaching and I often feel overwhelmed by the very things you're talking about in this post. If others are telling you that you're effective -- I think you need to latch onto that. Many times we're our own worst critics and we don't realize what we're really like in the classroom. I'll tell you what I've been told. The fact that you care so much, means that you are a good teacher. I'll add that your experience means you're an effective teacher. Maybe you need a change of scenery? I don't know. Please don't leave teaching though. Us newbies need your experience around to help us keep our chins up too!
oh, I wish I had something positive to tell you. More and more of us are feeling like this everyday. The kids need you! And they want you (as much as they act indifferent)! Keep this in the back of your mind as you as you go through those trying times.
(((Hugs)))
BTW, I love Ms. H's "Nocturnal Amnesia" . . .she says it like no one else!!!
I like the change of scenery idea.
I also remind myself that things could be worse. I could be dead.
Although, there was a time when I thought death would be better than the classroom.
Ok, that wasn't very helpful. Change of scenery!
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