Chuckles...

The 12 Days, Deconstructed

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter
festival, my potential-acquaintance-rape-survivor gave to me,

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through
ritual drumming.

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra
made up of members in good standing of the Musicians
Equity Union as called for in their union contract
even though they will not be asked to play a note...)

TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of
the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected
wetlands,

SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman
animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced
domestic incarceration, (NOTE: after member of the
Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red
paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens
and partridge have been reintroduced to their native
habitat. To avoid further animal-American enslavement,
the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled
processed tree carcasses

And a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

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Overhead on the Wise Men's Journey to Bethlehem:

7. Man, I'm starting to get a rush from this frankincense!

6. You guys ever eat camel meat? I hear it tastes like goat.

5. You know, I used to go to school with a girl name Beth Lehem.

4. What kind of name is Balthazar anyhow? Phoenician?

3. Hey, do you either of you know why "MYRRH" is spelled with
a "Y" instead of a "U"?

2. Okay, whose camel just spit?

And the NUMBER ONE thing overheard on the Wise Men's journey
to Bethlehem...

1. All this staring at a star while riding a camel is making me
woozy.